CHRONICLES OF A BIRTHDAY BOY

Eighteen years on earth and I still don’t know the best way to celebrate my own birthday. I’ve only ever had two memorable birthday celebrations. The first one was when I became ten years old. My mum got me a very big cake and a couple of my friends came over. I don’t really remember much about that day, I’m not even sure I have pictures to commemorate the memory. One thing I do remember about my tenth birthday is that when it was time to take pictures, I was unable to open my eyes properly. They were really itchy for some reason and all I heard was ‘Just manage and let us take these pictures’ and of course, they was taken nonetheless.

The second one was my sixteenth birthday. Yeah, my sweet sixteen. It was sweet but not as sweet as the ones I saw on TV because nobody got me a car. I was in boarding school, my final year as a secondary school student. My father called earlier that week and asked what I wanted, I just asked for ice cream (nothing fancy). Now that I think about it, maybe I would have gotten a car, all I had to do was ask. The day came and he was in my hostel with enough food (jollof rice, fried rice and chicken) to feed everyone and a really big bowl of ice cream (I think the largest size available). Not to brag, but I think each person’s portion was more than the regular portion of food we were served in the hostel. Thinking of it, my tenth and sixteenth birthday were probably so nice because they happened during the weekend.

Fast forward to my 18th birthday: This was the birthday I was really looking forward to. I was going to be a man according to the laws of the land and I would be in school and in charge of my own finances. I knew I wanted a proper birthday celebration but I just couldn’t bring myself to plan anything. I didn’t know the first thing about planning a birthday (I still don’t). I got advice from a couple of my friends but never really put it to good use. My birthday came and it was just another regular day because I had nothing planned. Eventually, I was pressured by my friends to get something to celebrate my birthday. I mean, their guy can’t be celebrating his birthday and they wouldn’t have anything to eat. I got drinks and snacks, still no cake, but at least everyone had something to eat and drink. This year, it will be exactly nine years since I had a birthday cake for myself but trust me, I eat a lot of other people’s birthday cakes, with immense pleasure.

In all my years on earth I haven’t really gotten a lot of birthday gifts and if you were to ask me what I want, I sadly wouldn’t be able to give you a clear answer. This isn’t because I have all I want because obviously, nobody does, but the things I want are more than just clothes and shoes. Plus, I find it really hard to make such demands. Maybe I’m just making a big deal out of a mere birthday gift or maybe I’ve come to perfectly realize we only live once and what is a man without legit enjoyment? So, henceforth, if someone asks me what I’d like, I will mention as many things as possible. I can’t continue doing birthdays without receiving gifts even though, I honestly already have the best gifts a man could ever ask for: I’m alive and well, I have an amazing family, wonderful friends and I know I am full of potential. I think the only problem is that I’m a Nigerian and I live in Nigeria. I wouldn’t mind living my life outside this country. What’s patriotism without a Canadian flag beside the green, white and green in my Twitter bio?

This year, with my 19th birthday just around the corner, I think I finally have a clear picture of what I want my birthday celebration to look like. I want a proper dinner/night-out with my boys and ladies. Nothing fancy, just a day with the people in my inner circle. But I wouldn’t be getting that this year. Asides the fact that my purse can’t afford such expenses, my exams are around the corner (exactly 12 days after my birthday) and I also didn’t accomplish all my goals for the past year, an offence punishable by ‘not having a proper birthday celebration’. I’m sure my friends won’t be expecting anything from me because they know we’d already be in exam mode. Besides, they are all too serious to be coming for one yeye birthday so close to exams. However, this year I will fast on my birthday. I can’t remember the last time I did so. There was a time I made a pact with myself to fast during the lunar calendar equivalent of my birthday but trust a human to be human. Where there’s no way, there’s scam. However, I will fast this year and if I remember on my birthday according to the lunar calendar, I will fast too by the grace of God. What’s better than one birthday? Allow your high pitched Jay Z voice finish the line.

To end, be sure to wish me a happy birthday and best of luck in my forthcoming exams. Nineteen years is such an odd number to celebrate. I have a feeling next year is going to be that year, you know, that year that changes all other years. We’ll see.

Post by Guest writer for L.A.G.U

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The dirty game…

Over the past couple of months there has been a back-and-forth romance between the school management and the student body over an increase in the hostel fees in which the extra charges were to cover electricity. Now you see where this might be a problem considering that we have been using power from a private grid for almost a year now without paying for it and we still owe the national grid about double of what we owe the private grid, this is a mind-boggling amount of money in debt! Now I can see where the school administration would have a problem giving us power supply and where to get the money to fund it considering we as a federal government- school are practically not paying a lot as per “free education” as it were. Then again I can also see it from the side of the students as a sudden increase wasn’t what many of us had planned for. After a planned protest and meetings with the Vice Chancellor from the main campus who told us not to pay even though he refused to help us out with the sum needed to cover it, which was pretty understandable as we had made ourselves an autonomous community😢😥. So where was the money supposed to come from? The school administration were tired of running on a deficit and has decided to cut our power supply to the bare minimum: a total of 5hrs of power supply per day 😵😵 I know!! It’s outrageous and so another protest was held with inside meetings and after a while, power was restored and life continued as usual with us feeling the proverbial hanging of the cloud above our heads or maybe we had just buried our heads in the sand in total oblivion not wanting to think about it. Only for a shocking memo to come out about closure of the school hostels. Oh wow!! Unexpected much? But again the student body held a meeting and the school administration put into consideration the clinical students and the national elections about to come up of which a few polls are in our hostels, obviously the students had to be around. So as I speak we are at impassé as per the increase in hostel fees. Heaven knows what else is in store for us in the coming months.

Presidential elections come up this weekend and I’m very anxious to see how every thing turns out, hopefully a peaceful election and a peaceful acceptance of all results. I don’t think Nigerians are ready for any problems, I personally think we have suffered a lot already. I believe that once you are tired of something and you have the power to change it, then you should. Please let’s not be blinded or moved by campaigns and free gifts or thinking that our votes don’t count, let’s do what we can before we think such thoughts.

On other issues, ASUU has finally called off their strike. Mixed feelings everywhere. On one hand I’m tired of staying in one level and want to move, on the other hand I’m not sure I’m well prepared for exams, if that’s even a thing that’s possible. I was talking to one of my lecturers and she was amazed to hear we hadn’t written out exams. In my mind I was thinking “If we haven’t written exams, won’t you have known? Didn’t you set the questions?” That was when I realised that even our lecturers had forgotten us and probably what they even taught us 😂😱😂. But I’ve decided to accept our fate and not allow the fear keep me from doing all I can to prepare on my own part because if they have forgotten what they’ve taught us I really wonder how our exam questions will be.

To all students writing end of posting exams, community health and professional exams L.A.G.U wishes you the absolute best in preparation and writing.

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Do my Doctor no harm…

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These past few weeks have gone like a whirlwind, I have been caught up and I’ve most likely forgotten some of the captivating stories I told myself to note down for my readers (I need to get a blog planner or something, any ideas?). Let me not ramble on. Yeah, so these past few weeks where do I even begin? From my modelling gigs, to my athletic endeavors, to my love life, to my academics, then lastly my indulging in a bit of politics. This is basically an outline of all that’s happened.

About two months ago, I accompanied my friend for a fashion show audition and one way or the other the Model Doctor roped me into auditioning for the show. I was picked and let me be honest it was a wonderful experience. From the trainings to the actual show which involved me running around and changing clothes like a mad hatter, to me having muscles pulling in places I have never had my muscles stretched before, it was ridiculously hilarious. All in all it was lovely and a wonderful experience for me to add to my escapades in medical school. I also got to meet new people and it opened up a new scope for me.

After that was the departmental health week which was also a blast. One way or the other Dr? got me involved in the whole week even when I never volunteered for anything. As I type this I realise the amount of pushing required to get me to leave my comfort zone and now I honestly thank my friends that help me push my boundaries.

I digress. Back to my story, in all this time I’ve had incourses and seen results and decided that it’s not too late to start going for tutorials because even though I’m keeping my head above water I know I can do so much better than I am presently doing even with all my extra curricular activities. It has helped me tremendously but I don’t want to count my eggs before they hatch.

A funny thing happened: that was how I was strolling to my hostel and one of my friends used the statement “They have gotten you o”. 😞😞. I swear at that point I realized I had well and truly become a medical school zombie. Now the story here is that I had to leave my previous hostel because the ratio of bed bugs to human beings was becoming a thing of concern because it felt like since the students in the floor above us had moved out, they decided to seek for warmth and blood on our own floor. I decided that the blood I had was just enough for me and I didn’t want to share so I moved back home leaving my luggage behind, then I asked a friend to take me in for the period of our exams. This was all good until the strike happened and everything was put on hold, but as I have decided that I need to travel this Christmas I stayed back and put in more hours in my reading so that in case the strike isn’t called off before Christmas I can convince my parents to let me go with them. Christmas is better spent in the village, it’s nothing short of amazing.

For the ones looking for volleyball stories, well I can say not from my own view but from the view of others that I have improved a tad bit. As the slave master you all might know I am, I don’t think I’ve quite gotten to where I want to be and so I’m pushing myself to do better regardless. I can’t say I haven’t been enjoying it though, the incredible people I have come to know because of volleyball are worth the body pains and muscles aches. I never knew I’d feel this way about it 😁, it’s beginning to border on addiction 😨. Oh yeah and my chess buddy has abandoned me 😭😭 so much for friendship. He blames me, I wonder what I did exactly. Anyhoo, I’m looking for someone that can teach me and motivate me to be better. If you know anyone that has my time please leave a comment below, thanks guys.

Lastly my little testing of the waters in politics. Recently I was nominated to a political post by department 😱. Mind boggling but it is indeed an honour to be thought about and considered. Even though I had wanted to go for a legislative position for my faculty I think I’d soft pedal on that and do my best in the capacity I find myself. Maybe bigger doors will open from it and I’d really love to learn on this new platform😀😀. Hopefully I do well, fingers crossed🙏.

And so, my dear readers, this is a summary of what has been going on in my life for the past two months. It’s been a whirlwind and I have indeed loved being caught up in it. Before I forget, please all of you praying or begging for ASUU to call off the strike should please stop o, now that I finally have the time to catch up on my reading for my first professional exams. Please for the love of what you hold dear, don’t be unfortunate biko. And for the those scrolling down looking for the story on my love life, you like amebo too much, I’m not talking 😋😋. Somethings are better kept secret. 🏃🏃🏃

NB: Help me pray for God to forgive me, I typed this while in church. 😥😥

The countdown…

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I blame myself for most situations I find myself in. For example, this month is going to be a very stressful one for me and I can ‘feel it coming’ because I have let it happen already. It is stale gist that medical students have this really tight schedule so I shouldn’t complain too much (doesn’t mean I shouldn’t complain at all). It feels like I’ve been backed into a very tight corner and how did it all start? *adds dramatic Nollywood flashback sound*. I say we go back in time a little bit.
It all started a little over a week ago. I woke up from my afternoon nap, checked my WhatsApp messages and there it was on my class’ group chat: “Breaking News: Our professional exams have been slated for December”. Yeah that’s right, December which is barely two months away. That December. We all thought the exams would come up next year January or at least that was the vibe we all had because all controversies concerning our exam date had been laid to rest when we saw in our academic calendar that our exams would be in January. Even though we’ve been covering the topics in our syllabus at a very rapid pace which could have been an indication that our exams would come earlier than expected but what other form of ‘assurance’ do we need apart from the academic calendar. Besides, our seniors said exams are never moved forward but they can be postponed. So imagine the shock we all had when we got the news about the new exam date. Writing the exam in December may have its benefits, I mean we’d have a proper Christmas holiday which we didn’t think we’d get but before we can enjoy the holiday we must pass the exams first. There is absolutely no joy in doing Christmas when there is a possibility of having a resit exam immediately after.

Now back to my busy month. The AMSUL health week would hold later this month and I have planned my month around that week. I have a lot of things I would be doing in that week and also my sister’s convocation would come up the weekend before the health week. My plan is to enjoy everything AMSUL is putting together to make that week fun, I’m even participating in most of those events including the pageantry (still don’t know how I tricked myself into participating in it). I would require a lot of time and energy this month and a lot of money too. I need money for the pageant and also for the dinner. I’m really looking forward to the dinner, its going to be my first dinner in a very long time.
Even though everything about my life seems to be all over the place, I’ve got a one-week holiday to figure it out. I should be at home right now instead I’m in school writing this. The pageant I mentioned earlier is what is keeping me in school. The rehearsals are actually interesting but really stressful. I can now see the reason why my classmates didn’t want to participate in the competition. I’m still going to skip the remaining rehearsals for this week though, I have no intention of sacrificing my holiday for anyone or anything. The timing of the holiday is even wrong. The holiday should be after the in-course exams but I guess the NLC strike forced them to give us the holiday before time. So, we would be facing in-course almost immediately after the end of the holiday. I still don’t understand why the NLC started a strike that wouldn’t last for a long time. Some associations really need to learn how to go on strike from ASUU (it is a known fact that ASUU can strike more than thunder).
Every time I find myself in a very tight situation, I try to find out the things I’m doing other than studying. Then I tell myself I would stop engaging in all these activities but stopping these activities goes against the reason why I decided to do them in the first place. So, I tell myself quitting is not the answer because as the going gets tough, only the tough get going. Reducing my dedication to extracurricular activities is another option I have but what is worth doing at all is worth doing well. So, I try to give my 100% in everything I do. Everyone that I’ve explained my situation to has reassured me that I would do well in my exams. If people can be so confident in me then I should also believe in myself. Besides, there is nothing that is too much for my God to handle. So, I recommit my future to him, he is in charge. He always has been and always will be.

On a lighter note, I know most people don’t know this but I’m a rap music enthusiast. You should also know that I’m a really big fan of Lil Wayne, so you can imagine my joy when ‘The Carter V’ eventually dropped on Friday. I’ve been jamming to it since Friday. I’ve really missed Lil Wayne and this new album is the way to make a comeback. I think my favorite track on that album is ‘Monalisa’ featuring Kendrick Lamar. Well you know any song with two rap heavyweights would always be dope. Deciding the best rap album of the year in the next Grammy award would really be difficult. So many albums to choose from, there is ‘KOD’ by J. Cole, ‘Kamikaze’ by Eminem, ‘Scorpion’ by Drake, ‘Invasion of Privacy’ by Cardi B, ‘Queen’ by Nicki Minaj, ‘Beerbongs and Bentleys’ by Post Malone. Personally, I don’t think I have a favorite but I’d like to see Cardi B win a Grammy even though she can be childish at times.

Article by a guest writer for L.A.G.U

A post from Russia

Hi.

So, yeah. I think I should start with a brief history of what I am gonna be telling you about. Everything I will be saying is from personal experience or what someone experienced has told me. (basically, I’m saying what I know – no internet stuff).

Yeah, Russia. Everyone knows it is where the Night King and the White Walkers originated from. But, of course, there is more to the world’s biggest country than that. You are probably right, it is the coldest country on earth during the winter.
Russia (Россия, in Russian) is home to about 140 million people (quite a small number of people for a country its size). Its capital is Moscow, it is the former USSR and has only had three presidents. (i actually just knew this some weeks before I got here: Boris Yeltsin, the first one, Vladimir Putin, the current and second one, and Dmitry Medvedev, the third). You might not understand how Putin is the second and the current, but try to read on the Putin-Medvedev political bromance.

Moscow is the capital of Russia (ko sere ni Moscow – please who created this phrase??). Moscow is a very big city that has a lot of very much needed public transport mechanisms (metro, buses, tramways, whatever else I don’t know). The Moscow Metro serves about 13 million people a day, opens at 6 a.m. and closes at 1 a.m. everyday.

I have to admit, I don’t think I have seen up to 15 black people since I have been here. I honestly feel nervous at the plethora of white people looking at me on the street, but at the same time, I feel iconic.

OK, time to talk about my journey and experiences here.

I landed at one of the four Moscow International Airports, and of course, Border Control needed to check my passport and visa and all that stuff. Before I got to the Border Control agent, I spent maybe 2 maddening hours standing on the queue. At the agent inspected my passport, she asked me to leave the line and wait. Then another agent comes up for all my school-relating documents and goes again to call the school for like 20 minutes. Meanwhile, throughout this time of waiting, I was not connected to AIrport Wi-Fi. (that agent came back and cleared my documents and also connected me to the network. Thank God.)

So, I went to the arrival terminal after getting my bags and Martin (not his real name – an African student in Moscow) was already there to pick me up. So we both boarded a taxi and were on our way to my hostel. The cold I found immediately I got out of that airport, it wasn’t small. Only God can explain how I survived.

At the hostel, Martin and the security guards stationed there were discussing some things (I dont even know what they were talking about). All I know is that I ended up meeting the hostel administrator who registered me into residence at the hostel.
Well for now, I have no roommate or black friend. Wait, in fact, I have no friend (well, except Martin). But at least I know someone, a maybe Spanish (I don’t knwo his nationalty, I just know he speaks Spanish) doctor doing his residency and will be leaving soon.

My first two days here were cold hell, it was 18 and 17 degrees Centigrade consecutively during the day and the nights get even colder, maybe to 11 or 10.
However the subsequent days have become better with temperatures ranging from 20 to 25 during the day.
I really think I am adapting because I walked the street tonight at a temperature of 18 degrees and it was not as cold as I felt some days ago. (Anyway sha, all this “adapting” will cease to exist once Winter is finally here). I am using a capital W in Winter because I am a new GOT fan – definitely one of the best series I’ve watched along Prison Break and Black-ish.

Learning a new language is never easy – I have once learned Chinese, Arabic, and Turkish; Turkish being the easiest. Learning Russian and the Cyrillic text is not going to be easy either. I have started learning to read a little Cyrillic and it is easier than I thought, just some new and weird alphabets in it. For example, “welcome” in Russian is written “добро пожаловать” and pronounced as “dobro pozhalovat”. The “B” in Cyrillic is pronounced as /v/.
I feel like I will start saying “ball” as “vall”. I really hope not.

A couple of the Russians I have met are nice. A man approached me to take a picture with him at the Red Square in Moscow. Another instance is when I didn’t have enough coins on me to pay a 106 ruble bill and the attendant just collected what I had, which was 104 by the way.

One thing really new to me is the European standard of living. It is more expensive than the traditional African way of life. In Nigeria, Eva Water of 1.5L is about 100 naira while the cheapest bottle of water I’ve had here is 30 rubles (about 150 naira) for 1L.
Basically, things are a little more expensive out here. Martin once told me that if I keep converting the Russian price back to local currency, I will possibly not buy anything. True statement.

Bye.

Credit to The Quiet one

So this is a bit of an introduction from someone else’s perspective of medical school from another country. Hope you all enjoyed the read. He will be a constant blogger as much as time allows him to.

Anticipate!!!

Mood!!

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It’s a few minutes just past 8:00pm. I’m seated on my bed trying to organise my thoughts and also trying to understand why someone in my hostel is burning food in the name of cooking, must be 100 yards of wife material. Oh well, it’s not as if I am that great a cook either but at least I can boil water without burning it 😝.

Back to my thoughts: apparently, looking young for my age but owning a car doesn’t always work to my benefit. Today I was harassed (I am going to call it that) as I was about to leave school after volleyball practice. Unfortunately for the security guard that pulled me over, I was tired enough to want to pour out my frustration on someone else. Apparently he pulled me over because according to him I had two gate passes in my car and I only relinquished one. He actually banged my car and told those at the gate to make sure not to allow me pass. In my mind I was like the person that sent you to me today didn’t advice you well. I jejely pulled to one side and told him that he must come and look for the second pass o! He said he can’t search my car that I should just bring it out. When some other security guards came to ask what was going on I told them that I had initially pulled over to send a message to someone on my phone because I didn’t want to be driving and texting and I really don’t know how he saw two gate passes with me in the night with my inner light turned off. I sha said I wasn’t going anywhere till oga came to produce the second pass from where he saw me put it. At this point I had wound my glasses up, switched off my head lamps and sat on the bonnet of my car chilling for him. They must have seen I was ready for trouble because they started begging me not to mind him and just go. Lol! After they had begged and I had rested for a bit and had calculated that the traffic back to the hostel would have reduced, I entered my car and went on my merry way. The discussion ended with them asking me to give them money for food 😓 *deep sigh*.

Elections are coming and scary stuff have started happening. I was wandering through Instagram the other day and I hit a page with a video of a security guard (again) trying to stop a car from leaving somewhere. Apparently he had received money from him and immediately his d*ck disappeared 😱. I was just weak. The politician still drove off without returning it though, for those of you wondering. It’s a sad world we live in where we actually have to be extra cautious of those around you. That is how someone will say his brain disappeared 🙄. But jokes aside it’s scary and sad: the seasoned rituals and sacrificing of people and yet they won’t still win. How do they harden their hearts to do this sort of thing to a fellow human, more so someone less privileged than them. Anyway I believe in karma for people like this.

One last thing before I sign off, a friend of mine was upset today because he did a job (he is a graphic designer and photographer) for a so-called friend and at even half the price. When it was time to pay up the person started talking about how the work was overpriced and actually not that good, how he thinks his work isn’t worth all that money. I am angry on his behalf because why for goodness sake must you mess with what someone calls his business? He even ended up questioning his religion. First off why go that far? You could have said you couldn’t afford it in the first place and probably looked for a cheaper option! Then you have the audacity to belittle his work and art and question his religion. We Nigerians feel too entitled to things we didn’t work for, probably because we have such people as friends and they give discounts to just be nice. We don’t go out of out way to support but we want special treatment. Stop it! It’s not nice. Anyway, if you are in need of a very good graphic designer just holla at me and I’ll hook you up. Let’s learn to appreciate people that work hard to earn their money and especially people that do art because believe me it’s hard, but we do it because we love it. So stop making it hard to do the things we love. Thank you.

N.B: To the SBA(Sweet Boys Association) people I’m sitting here watching you all with one eye open. Well done sirs, the re-branding is epic.

Beware of Predators

My fellow Nigerians, come and see o! One man decided he wanted to be unfortunate and slide into my dm on Instagram. I’m not superficial but I have standards and the guy wasn’t even a fine something. The first thing he did wrong was compliment my body 😖😖 I was already put off. Instead of introducing himself he went on to further irritate me by asking me to tell him about myself. I sha told him he had to introduce himself first. Going further (I don’t know who asked him o), the next thing he told me was that he was in the United Kingdom on an official assignment 😵💣. Why oh why do I meet a lot of nonsense people. We eventually exchanged BBM handles cause I wasn’t going to give him my Whatsapp number because I don’t think I could block on Whatsapp back then. Anyhow, when he added me that was the end, I just shifted him to one side. Fast forward to one year after by now I had deleted my BBM, he sent me a dm to rekindle our conversation. He asked for my Whatsapp number and since I can’t explain what possessed me I’ll just say I was in a good mood and gave it to him, and that my fellow Nigerians, was were the madness started. He was very sexual from the beginning and creepy about it too, asked me for my hobbies, favourite hangouts, colour, food, normal normal. Then he asked for my budget for a month as a student: uber, hair, nails, shopping and all. I told him and he said he could give it to me. Pause err I was confused for a bit I then sent a message to Dr? to ask if I looked hungry and gave him a work up of our conversation. The guy abi man went on to tell me he was going to come see me in school💥💥 and that my guys was the end. He didn’t ask, he said. In my mind I was like feckaway who do you think you are. I asked oga, “First off, what kind of interview is this whole conversation?”, he said we are just ‘rubbing minds’. Iranu oshi. I told him that first off the conversation was creepy, and that I didn’t ask him for money and didn’t need it, that my parents give me plenty enough and that his style of conversation wasn’t it. For the love of god that was our second time conversing. Fortunately for him he didn’t reply, I’m going to guess I wasn’t the type of girl he was looking for. I then took a screenshot of our chat and put it on my status only for my friend to call me the next morning to say she knew the guy 😂😂😂. Apparently the conversation was his MO he just copied it from one person to the other, he didn’t have money, and always came to see her in his company truck. Urghhh!! He was basically a scam artist preying on greedy females. If he had hinted from the beginning I would probably have told him he shouldn’t have wasted his time with me. Please ladies be careful of goats in human clothing.

Moving on Dr? has been away for a week, the Nigerian/National Medical Students Association had their sports week and he went to represent the college. I’ve missed him, no one to be crazy with 😭😭.

I took up chess and decided to join a chess club on the main campus just because I like to be good at what I do, and also volleyball practice on the main campus too. My first time was actually cool, learnt new things and met new people. I hope that moving forward it pays off for me. So it’s not just brunt, I have the brains too 😛😛😛, argue with your phones if you disagree. So if you are a chess lover and you ever find yourself on the main campus in the evening send me a message😘

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